For people who know me, I hate a lot of things. I don’t know if it’s my German heritage coursing through my veins, oozing through my pores and venting itself upon the unfortunate, but regardless of reason, I hate big time. I hate anything I can get my greasy mits on, but some things lend themselves to my thoughts of venom more easily than others. The fat for example are an easy target. When someone becomes so grossly obese that it hurts to look at them, they should be quarantined, minced up and fed to the poor. And you can say these things, right to someone’s wobbling gelatinous face without much consequence. I mean, what are they going to do? Take off their shirt and make you feel sexually uncomfortable?
But some groups are much more risqué to openly vent hatred upon. I was in a hotel the other morning eating breakfast, but the real feast was for my eyes, a snide grin smearing across my face. In front of me, was a whole table of body builders. That’s right, iron wielding, steroid zit raging, proportionately tiny testicled, bullied at school, over compensating, X chromosome destroying body builders. I felt so sorry for the chairs, lycra clad sweaty asses leaking testosterone all over them, putting their legs under breaking strain. But one chair I felt sorrier for than any other, the one chair supporting the token female body builder. Usually whoever has a female sitting on their face will get a kudos and a job well done from me, but something has gone horribly wrong in the world when a woman has her tits replaced with pecs. I see her conundrum however, she had red hair, stocky in build, and had those eyes that are just too close together. She would have been a perfect pit fall for the not so mediocre school girls, children can be cruel. But not anymore! “Hulk smash! Hulk bash! Yes I have a date to the dance! Yes I’m developing at a normal rate! Eat fist Sally Popular! Past the veins and through the guns, look out mental stability here I come!”
See where I’m coming from here? Even looking at her makes me nervous that I too will succumb to the fate of poor Sally Popular. Hey look a fatty, wibble wobble!
